I feel compelled to make a new post more out of a desire to have a somewhat thorough update of life since the last time I truly updated—over a month ago. So much has been going on and yet nothing has been going on at the same time, which tends to cancel out thoughts and emotions and leave behind a muddled mix of slosh that I don't have the motivation to clarify. Exams, papers, finals, an insanely chaotic academic semester have now come to a close. This was, quite simply, the most difficult semester, yet the fault lies with me for choosing to double-major (English and psychology) and minor (French). Oh, and it didn't help that I had three finals on the same day. Oh well. In other aspects, my life has been the best it has ever been. And for that, I am grateful. I was lucky to have lived in NYC for these past few months, and sitting on my bed at home in New Jersey makes me realize, after a mere 3 days, how much I miss it.
And then there is Paris. I have barely moved back home and yet I am already trying to finalize the paperwork for studying abroad in Paris this spring semester. I leave on January 14th. It seems so soon. Everything has been happening too fast and I just want to chain everything down for a minute so I can soak it all in without feeling like it will all slide away.
There are parts of the past that are still relevant now, and thus warrant a continued portion of my brain for reflection. Naturally, the present is also relevant, and so many of my thoughts are in that domain. And yet, the future is more relevant than ever before, so my thoughts—and actions—are dedicated to future events that have not yet occurred, and who knows if they even will?
This is all very rambly, disjointed, fragmented, etcetera. I recognize this, for it is the exact carbon copy of my current state of mind. A lot going on at once, a lot to do at once. I hope I can use these 3 weeks to get it all together and unwind. I need to write more, draw more, paint more, finish some design things, cook more, bake more, catch up on TV shows and movies, see the friends I haven't seen in ages.
A lot is happening, and a lot is going to happen quite soon. I think the worst part is that I don't know how to write it all down.